happyendings

you light up the room through your dark chocolate eyes

your calm voice takes me by surprise

I pulled into his driveway, not knowing what to expect. I hadn’t seen him since over the summer, when we had a drunken night together and I realized how much I had missed our relationship from years before. Tonight, we were headed to a haunted house together, for old times sake - as friends. I put my car in park and stepped out. I was scared to smile or say anything at first because I didn’t want to set the mood yet. You smiled at me first and opened your arms for a hug. I ran to you and let you wrap your strong arms around me. I breathed in your familiar smell - the one that took me back to a time when I knew who I was and what I wanted.

“What’s up?” You asked, opened my door for me and got behind the wheel of your car.

In the car, you kept the conversation going - making jokes, asking me about what I had been into, our mutual friends, etc. In line, you laughed at my anxiousness and about the people who were going to be in the group with us.

In the house, you held my hand through the entire thing, let me grab your waist when I was scared and looked only at me the entire time.

On the way home, we talked about our relationships since each other - and also what we were doing the rest of the weekend.

In your driveway again, I started to get out of the car. You grabbed my arm and gave me another hug and said “don’t be such a stranger, okay?” , smiled, and off I went.

Tonight I am on my couch, using my laptop, watching CNN and reading poetry for my English class.

I am wondering  where you are, who you are partying with tonight, if you are thinking about me.

My chest hurts.

I call my new boyfriend on the phone, fake happiness, tell him nothing is wrong, tell him we will hang out tomorrow.

I am lost.

Incubus - Wish You Were Here

… the theme song of my life.